Thursday, March 01, 2007

Mathematical Jokes

Cos(x), sin(x) and e^(x) go to a party. Sin(x) and cos(x) are partying away but e^(x) is miserable and anti social. Sin(x) and cos(x) go up to e^(x) and say 'what's wrong, why don't you integrate?'
It doesn't make any difference does it?

31 comments:

Kuldeep said...

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

Anonymous said...

A mathematician walks into a bar. "Ouch" he says.

Anonymous said...

duck walks into a bar, and says
"got any bread?"
barman:"no"
duck:"got any bread?"
barman:"no we don't have any bread"
duck:"got any bread?"
barman:"no we don't have any sodding bread and if you ask me once more i'll nail your beak to the bloody bar!"
duck:"got any nails?"
barman:"no"
duck:"got any bread?"

Anonymous said...

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9

Anonymous said...

Horse walks into a bar.

Barman says "why the long face?"

Anonymous said...

Q-what's the difference between a small grey whale and a big blue whale?

A- size and colour

Anonymous said...

Teacher: What is 2k + k?
Student: 3 grand!

Anonymous said...

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!

Anonymous said...

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!

Anonymous said...

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't...

Anonymous said...

A mathematician's wife gave birth to twins. He demanded to know who the other man was.

Anonymous said...

a panda walks into a restaurant and orders some food. He eats it, pays the bill and before leaving, fires 5 shots into the ceiling. The restaurant owner is furious and demands an explanation. "'m a panda, look it up"

the owner looks in the dictionary to find:
"panda; large asian mammal, eats shoots and leaves"

Anonymous said...

a rabbit goes into a bar and orders a cheese and onion toastie, the barman is amazed and straight away prepares the food, calling all the other staff as well to see the talking rabbit. the rabbit eats the toastie, says thank you and leaves.

he entres the bar the next day, but this time orders a tuna toastie, the barman once again amazed prepares the toastie but this time calls the local press. the rabbit eats the toastie, says his thanks and leaves.

the next day, the press are waiting and the rabbit does not turn up. The barman feels very stupid but mostly is concerned about his floppy eared friend.

Brousing through the papers he sees an obituary reading;

"dead: talking rabbit. cause: mixing-my-toasties"

Anonymous said...

two giraffes are standing by a tree, eating the leaves from the highest branches. giraffe 1 says "err, leaves, i'm sick of eating leaves"

the other says "bloody hell, a talking giraffe!"

Anonymous said...

what used to be brown but is now white, now made of plastic, and is dangerous to children?

grocery bags and michael jackson!

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Kuldeep said...

Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the work you have put into this post, it helps clear up a few questions I had.

Anonymous said...

What did the x-axis say to the y-axis?
Stop plotting against me.